A letter to myself

Jen,

Your baby girl finishes school tomorrow.

She has been a surprise to you since the moment she came out with black hair.  Simply that fact, has reminded you time and time again that God knit her together so uniquely and she is her own special person.  

You have been there through the years of crying through the night, covered in mylanta cherry supreme and hours of rocking and praying for answers that would bring her comfort.

Remember how loud you cheered the day she learned to walk?  It was a sweet celebration after watching her scream through hours at the physical therapist.  Why you let her walk naked through the strawberry patch after that, I have no idea...

You were the strong one when the sass came.  You were the brave one that continued to care and teach her through two more pregnancies.  And even though you had no idea what you were doing, you answered God's calling to teach her.  You met the challenge with energy and put diligent work into planning school for this girl.

You made messes.  And hopefully memories.

 You taught her how to read, tie her shoes and every little thing in between those things.

You spent hours setting up school spaces, planning curriculum and mapping out her eduction so that she wouldn't have any gaps.  Oh man, do you remember how she used to cry just hearing the word 'fractions'?!  You worked through that!  And slowly built up her confidence in math to where she was able to finish a college math class this year!

You taught this girl when you were exhausted and running on fumes.  You showed up when you were weary from solo parenting while Ben was deployed.  You prepared work for her to do while you were moving and unpacking.  You put yourself into so many awkward situations in the unknown, just to try and help her make friends in each new place you moved.

And let's be real, the hardest season of teaching was during the pandemic, but not because of the pandemic...it was during the season when trauma hit and medical appointments filled your days, but each one was a hurdle because of all the restrictions.  Days were in bed with your girl, reading to her and walking her through math problems. 

But you did it.  You showed up and put in the hard work.  A year of school should have been lost, but it wasn't.  Time and again, you met Alison where she needed to be and believed in the power of going against the "norm".

You continued teaching this girl, not only school, but big life lessons as unexpected teen issues hit.  If someone could please update parenting books that are relevant to 2025 that would be great.  You loved on her when she was prickly.  You took her out for boba when you knew her cup was running empty.  You drove through crazy New York traffic to go to friends houses.  You were on standby when she needed to talk through anxiety, even when you were walking through your own anxiety.

You taught her to drive even when it made you carsick.  You figured out ASU classes and how to make a transcript.  And you fought pretty stinkin hard to get her the best possible high school graduation.  It will not look traditional in any sense, but nothing about her life really has.

Somehow, you raised a fierce, intelligent and beautiful girl.  Take a moment and soak that up.  While she put in the hard work of completing classes and she is the one rightly being celebrated right now, take a moment to appreciate your work as well.  In this unseen world of homeschooling, sometimes you need to celebrate yourself.

You did it!!!

This picture could look so different.  She could not have even wanted you in the picture.  She could not be smiling or hugging you, but your relationship with this sweet girl has flourished.

Praise the Lord for all His blessings that he has poured on you.