Life Right Now

 Party decorations are still up from Eli's birthday.  I wonder if he knows how midwest/millennial his parents are?

A half eaten protein bar by the TV that Alison left before she went to work.

Socks everywhere...why?

Xbox controllers covering the couch

VR headset on the floor

An ipad charging on the heater, waiting to chat with Tolson while playing Minecraft

Kitty that Maya insists on bringing out

Maya's pajamas under the coffee table

A t-shirt and hoodie discarded on the table

Lego sets and scraps of packages and a million little legos that no one knows what to do with

This beautiful sight is my life right now with a tween and two teens...and 8 year old dog, who belongs in the desert.  Sure, it looks like we spend way too much time on electronics to the outside world, but that's another topic for another day.  For now, I just want to soak up this day.  Because there will be day that I miss this sight.

To write again

I've had this pull to write again.  

And that sentence has sat open for weeks.  There is something I love about writing and there is something inside that equally holds me back.  It's the same hold that made me stop writing years ago.  I'm still working to unearth that hold...is it simply fear?  is it pride?  is it insecurity?  or a messy mix of them all?

I started this blog 11 years ago; a whole different life ago.  I started it as a place to write for myself but I floundered knowing who my audience was and my purpose in writing.  There are so many things I wish I could say to that girl.  First one would be: don't stop.  Just write.  Let yourself fail and grow and learn.  Let yourself change over the years and be okay with passing seasons.

I've challenged myself to write again and let it be messy and completely imperfect and written to absolutely nobody.  I've challenged myself to write things that I look back on and think "why did I write that?" or maybe even to write something that offends someone.   I might even just put random pictures on every post.

Life has changed so much that my recent pictures are taken in Grand Central Station.  I'm not even sure what my life is.